*Reprinted from Dear Abby, Universal Press Syndicate
  1. Pushes for quick involvement: comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone."
  2. Jealous: calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; checks the mileage on your car.
  3. Controlling: interrogates you about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything.
  4. Unrealistic expectations: expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
  5. Isolation: tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble."
  6. Blames others: it's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
  7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: says, "you make me angry," or 'you're hurting me by not doing what I tell you," instead of "I am angry," or "I feel hurt."
  8. Hypersensitivity: is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings.
  9. Cruelty to animals or children: kills or punishes animals. Expects children to do things beyond their ability (whips a two year old for wetting a diaper).
  10. "Playful" use of force during sex: enjoys throwing you or holding you down during sex.
  11. Verbal abuse; constantly criticizes you, calls you ugly names.
  12. Rigid gender roles: he expects you to serve, obey, stay home or she expects you to work, come home and hand over the paycheck.
  13. Mood swings: switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
  14. Battering: admits hitting a mate but insists the partner made him or her do it.
  15. Threats of violence: says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," dismissing it with, "everybody talks that way," or " I really didn't mean it."

Dear Abby, Jeanne Phillips, Universal Press Syndicate

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